We have a garden area next to our chicken coop that is fenced in to keep out unwanted visitors, such as, deer, turkeys, hawks, raccoons and foxes. Unfortunately, the squirrels always manage to find a way in to do a little damage and sometimes I've been surprised to see birds in there picking away at green leaves. But, I'm sure they eat their share of insects, too. Gophers, moles and voles can be a problem, some years more than others.

The other day as I was checking on the chickens I nearly stepped on a snake laying across the path to the chicken coop. I jumped a foot in the air and shrieked. The snake calmly moved its head to look at me with its tongue quickly going in and out. "Whoa!" I said, moving away trying to determine what type of snake it was. Then the snake coiled and began to shake its tail. Was it a rattler? This snake didn't seem to have rattles that I could detect from several feet away. I moved a little closer. Squinting my eyes I bent down trying to get a better look at the tail, but still ready to jump back if necessary. "What the hell are you doing?" a small voice said, "You look ridiculous." I looked around to see if anyone was there. Not seeing anyone, I looked back at the snake. "Was...that you?" I said. "Well, it wasn't the lizard," the snake said dryly.

"Wow, you can talk!" I exclaimed. "Of course, I can," the snake said. "Great!" I said excitedly. "I have lots of questions for you." "Of course, you do," it said. "Does the sun rise in the east?" "First," I said. "You aren't a rattler, are you?" "Oh," the snake said with a smile. "The tail? You were concerned about me shaking my tail like a rattler?" "Yes, but I don't see any rattles, so I'm a bit confused," I said. "I know you're confused," the snake said. "Let me clear that up. I'm Gary, by the way. So, what can I...?" "Wait...Gary, the gopher snake?" I said with a chuckle. "You're kidding me, right?" "No," he said. "Is there a problem?" "I'm sorry," I said. "I just didn't expect you to have a name. Please continue. Sorry." "We gopher snakes noticed the reaction that rattlesnakes got when they shook their rattles. Same reaction you had when I did the same. You jumped back and shrieked. Like a little girl, I might add." "Hey," I said defensively. "So," he continued. "We decided to adopt the same behavior thinking, logically, you would be afraid enough to leave us alone."

"So...how's it working for you?" I said. "Well, it has its pluses and minuses," he said thoughtfully. "On the plus side, people jump back in terror and run off. On the minus side, they go and get the pitchfork," he said matterof- fact. "Oh," I said. "Guess you might want to re-think that one." "Perhaps," he said, his scaly gray-brown body shaking with laughter. "But, I still get some use out of it."

Just then a small brown fuzzy head popped out of the ground next to the path. Gary started to slowly move closer. "Wait!" I said quickly. "That's my buddy, the mole. I see him every day when I come down the path. He's cute as a button and always peeks out at me when I pass by. His name is Moley." "Moley?" Gary said with a smile. "You named the mole, Moley? Guess you didn't bust a gut thinking up that one." "Well, anyway," I said ignoring him. "Moley's harmless. Don't even think about eating him." "Of course not," Gary said. "We snakes mainly focus on mice, rats and voles. What do you take me for--a cold-blooded killer? Don't answer that."

"Well," I said. "Getting back to rattlesnakes, you have to admit you both look very similar." "Not at all," he said. "Let me point out the differences so you don't embarrass yourself again. First, western rattlesnakes are fatter than us gopher snakes. And, BTW, the most common snake in our area. Second, rattler scales are rougher looking than ours. Got it so far? Gopher snakes are slender and sleek. Rattlers are fat and rough." "Got it," I said taking mental notes.

"And," he continued. "We are also non-poisonous. We have slender heads and round pupils. Whereas, rattlesnakes have elliptical pupils or "cat eyes." We eat loads of rodents, such as mice, rats, voles and gophers (of course). Also, we hiss, rattlers don't." "Well," I said. "What's with the tongue going in and out? Is that a scare tactic, too? It just looks creepy." Gary rolled his light brown eyes. "That's how we smell things," he said patiently. "When our tongue goes back into our mouth the forks touch a special sensory organ on the roof of our mouth and tells us what we're smelling. We have a small notch in our lips that allows us to stick our tongue through so we don't need to open our mouth. Is any of this soaking in?" "Yes," I said appreciatively. "But hold on a moment, maybe I'd better get my notebook because I have more questions." "Your notebook?" he asked. "You must mean your tablet." "No," I said. "I prefer to use pencil and paper." "If you get your tablet," he said. "You can snap a photo to go along with your notes. Get with the times, Chimichanga." "Okay, fine," I said, wondering why I was taking the advice of a snake. I returned a few minutes later to find Gary hurrying back down the path. "Hey, wait!" I yelled, waving my notebook. "I have questions!" Just then I noticed a large lump about a third of the way down his body. "Oh, for God's sake, Gary!" I exclaimed. "Did you just eat Moley?" "Yes," he said sheepishly. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" I demanded.

"Holy Moley that was good," he said as he slithered away.

Bless the gopher snakes ~ Joanie and Annie